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    Hi there! I'm Stacie I'm a 27 year old multimedia designer, who has a slight obsession for fashion, interior design, caffeine and pop culture.

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    A Girl’s Self Worth

    March 20, 2017 by stacie Leave a Comment

    I’m just going to preface this with an apology. The ideas and thoughts I’m going to be disccusing are most likely going to come off very rambly, incoherent and all over the place, but I just feel like I really need to get this off my chest. Let’s just say this is my diary entry, but instead of it being contained in a notebook for my eyes only, I’m sharing my inner-most personal thoughts to anyone who’s ever felt the same way I do. But enough procrastinating, let’s just get to it shall we?

    For the majority of my life I don’t think I can ever really remember a time where I didn’t compare myself to other people, but specifically other females. And over this past year, (actually I think I’ve known this for quite some time, but just kind of shoved those feelings to the side because I didn’t want to have to deal with it), I fully came to the realization that if I don’t learn to stop comparing myself to other women I will never be able to accept myself for who I am. I will never be able to feel comfortable in my own skin. I will never be able to realize what I’m truly capable of. I will never be able to grow as an individual because I’ll be jumping from one ideal of myself to another. I will never be able to love myself. I will never be able to find my true purpose or meaning in life. Basically, if I don’t stop comparing myself to other women I won’t be able to spend what little of my time on Earth as my truest self. And to be honest, that thought is quite terrifying to me. I am the only one in charge of my destiny at the end of the day so if I don’t find the courage to be me then who will?

    I need to stop trying to act how I believe society wants me to act or how even the people closest around me perceive me to be. It’s just so destructive to one’s character and mind. Personally, it’s made me incapable of forming my own thoughts and opinions on a given topic or I even find it difficult to make the most simple everyday decisions because I’m so preoccupied and in my head worrying about what other people may think, or okay this person is doing this should I be doing this too?

    I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but women really need to stop judging and pitting other women against each other. Maybe if we spent less time judging one another we could all just be happy and at ease with ourselves because we’re not worried about being scrutinized for every action we make. Everyone knows how small you can possibly feel when someone looks you up and down and gives you THAT look, that look like they think they know everything about you and what you stand for just by your physical appearance.

    I’m not going to pretend like I’m above judging other women because I’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m very guilty of this. I think so many distasteful things in my head and then two seconds later after mulling it over, I think why did I just think that? We only really judge others over jealousy and to make ourselves feel better about something we’re insecure about. We need to stop making comparisons because it belittles our own achievements and what we bring to this world.

    I think the majority of women as a whole suffer from these same thoughts, but we never vocally share it because we don’t want to be viewed as being a complainer, weak, “crazy”, or any negative term you can possibly think of.

    Women need to stop tearing each other down. We need to stop judging each other on how we look, how we act, how we talk, how we raise our children, and just frankly who we choose to be! We shouldn’t have to explain ourselves to anyone. Everyone is human at the end of the day. We all suffer through the same problems, so why are we fighting and making excuses when we could be helping each other? It’s such a waste of time and energy! Let other women inspire you and open your mind to new things. We should be celebrating our differences because lets face it it makes everything a little bit more interesting don’t you think?

    And honestly, it’s not only ourselves we have to worry about. It’s men who think it’s okay to judge us on our appearances, our intellect, our personalities, and our aspirations in life. Their judgements shape what we think people want us to be. No wonder why so many women seem pigeonholed on what their purpose is. It’s for this reason that so many women find their meaning later in life. We’re so worried about pleasing everyone, that we never take the time to reflect and think “Am I actually pleasing myself? Is this for me?”

    Everyone needs to stop living in their own shadow and needs to find their confidence. I know it’s going to be a tough journey for me because I’m a super introverted and insecure individual who ties my self worth in pleasing others. I am constantly being bombarded by the thought that I don’t want to be a spectator in my own life, I want to be living in it. I need to learn how to be my own boss and to stop questioning my every move because the world needs strong women especially in these challenging times. We should be allowed to be in charge of our life and to have control, without being described as cold, a biatch, manipulative or bossy. There’s only one you in this world, that should be your greatest weapon. Stop doubting your self worth! Know that any emotion or thought you’re feeling is valid. Stop clouding your goals with fear of what other people may think because before you know it, it will be too late.

    I don’t really know what kind of verbal diarrhea I spewed out to the universe, but I know I just had to get these thoughts out of my head for my own sanity and to just get a dialogue going. It’s sad to think that so many people, myself included, suffer so much from caging their emotions and thoughts even to the closest people in their life just because they don’t want to burden others with their problems or to feel weak. But maybe we wouldn’t feel so guilty if people were more accepting and just openly had conversations with one another without the overwhelming fear of feeling judged.

    All I know is I’m just a girl trying to find myself and trying to understand what life is all about and what life has to offer. I am the only who can dictate what my story is going to be, so I need to just pick up the pen and go.

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  • Year of No “Fear”

    February 23, 2017 by stacie Leave a Comment

    Cheers to my annual blog post! (Seriously I need to start getting better at posting here)

    2016 was a roller coaster of emotions. I moved out from my family home with my boyfriend, bought my first home, and probably gave myself far too much time for personal reflections. It was apparent to me that I needed to be a little more selfish and to start taking care of myself. I realized that life is far too short and that I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone. Do things that will help me grow as a person. And to be honest, just do things that will make me happy. I’ve spent far too much time living for other people in fear of what they may think of me.

    I realized that for the past 25 years I’ve been living in a bubble of “perfection”. I’ve never really been one to show my hand and have become comfortable—maybe a little too comfortable—hiding behind a veil, even to my closest family members and friends. I never like burdening people with my problems because I often feel guilty for putting others in an uncomfortable position. Suppressing my deepest thoughts and emotions has become as easy as breathing for me, which will always lead to a breaking point eventually. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of breakdowns within my small window of time on Earth. Just know that even though someone’s life seems perfect, it is rarely ever the case. I kept it too much together on the surface, while on the inside I was unraveling. It’s okay not to be okay. We should really stop pretending like everything is fine because it only hurts ourselves in the end.

    I need to stop worrying about keeping it together all of the time because life isn’t perfect. It can’t be calculated. It always throws curveballs at you and you just need to take the hit and learn from it. I’ve wasted far too much time playing the pity card in my mind. Yes, I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal struggles, but the longer you sit back the more life flashes before your eyes into oblivion. I mean, for Pete’s sake, didn’t this year just start and somehow we’re already at the end of February?! How did that even happen?

    I need to learn to start appreciating the little things in life. The smiles and laughter of my loved ones. The rich taste of my favourite dark chocolate. Being able to walk outside and know that I’m safe. The smell of my clean laundry (seriously Bounce Bursts just got introduced into my life and I don’t know why it took so long). I also need to take the time to see if certain things are really worth stressing over. How much does this moment mean in the grand scheme of things? Are things really worth the worry and headache that you make them out to be?

    Last year felt like a year of self-discovery. A stepping stone into trying to visualize and understand what I want out of life. I don’t want to be at the end of my life regretting not taking more chances. I need to start doing things that will make me feel more fulfilled. There were definitely some dark moments last year where I just felt completely numb, and frankly lost. I thought to myself, “Is this what I’ve been building up my life for? Is this what I truly want to do for my whole life?” I just felt stuck. Honestly, I still feel stuck. I’m still trying to pick up the pieces and figure out what my purpose in life is. I just need to learn how to take a breather and live in the moment, instead of constantly dreaming for the weekend.

    One of the things I wanted to start doing to help me break into my own is to start a YouTube channel. I wanted to be able to share a side of me that only the closest people in my life have seen. I’ve been shy my whole life and have made it a habit to just hide and not be seen. But, where’s the fun in that? How do you expect to build meaningful relationships if you can’t share the best part of you? (Hint: the best part of any human is just being theirself)

    On that note, just remember it’s never too late to start again. Life may be short, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make the most out of it.

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  • 25 Things I’ve Learned

    March 27, 2016 by stacie 1 Comment

    I’m turning 25 today.

    To be honest, I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. I don’t want to sound cliché, but it honestly feels like it was just yesterday that I turned 13. The days where my biggest worry was whether or not Gordo was going to end up with Lizzie are far gone. I would always hear grown-ups saying how time flies by before your eyes as you get older, but it never rang more true until this past year.

    With a quarter of a decade under my belt, I just wanted to share 25 things I’ve learned throughout my 25 years here on this planet:

    1. Surround yourself with good people.

    Good friends are hard to come by. People always come and go, but take notice and appreciate the ones that stay, have been there for you and support you.

    2. Nobody’s perfect.

    It’s okay to make mistakes in your life. You have to keep reminding yourself that you’re only human. You learn best and grow from your own failures. Stop being so hard on yourself! As the very wise Miss Frizzle would say, “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”

    3. Travel and explore.

    Make lasting memories and experience new things! Remember, there is more out there in the world than your own backyard.

    4. Family is everything.

    As much as your family may irritate you sometimes, they’re coming from a good place. You will only ever have one family, so cherish them. Learn to ignore their annoying little quirks that drive you up the wall because one day you may miss them.

    5. Fads come and go.

    Don’t let yourself fall victim to the latest fad or you will be the proud owner of over 100 Beanie Babies…

    6. Be unique.

    There’s only one you and will only ever be one you. You shouldn’t be worried about fitting into anyone’s mold. People will start taking notice for the right reasons.

    7. You can’t put a price on your health.

    The sooner you start being active and taking care of yourself, the easier it will be to get into a routine. Health is so fragile. Take care of yourself. You may also start getting aches and pains for no reason whatsoever, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

    8. Challenge yourself.

    Don’t always take the easiest route in life. You may just surprise yourself.

    9. Keep learning.

    As much as you keep trying to tell yourself, you don’t know everything there is to know. Whether that be educational or life lessons. In order to keep growing as an individual you need to keep an open mind.

    10. Start saving young.

    The earlier you start budgeting your finances, the more secure you will feel. Money isn’t everything, but it definitely helps avoid unnecessary stress.

    11. Appreciate the small things in life.

    Not every day will be the best day of your life. Cherish the laughter of your friends, enjoy a good cuddle or let yourself get excited over a good Netflix binge. There are enough negative things in life to get you down. Allow the little things in life to keep you sane.

    12. Eat good food.

    For the love of god, stop counting every calorie! If you eat consistently healthy, it’s okay to have a cheat day. Don’t be too hard on yourself! You’re probably going to hold onto those dreaded extra pounds by raising your stress levels on such a strict diet. Eat that cupcake staring you square in the face because…YOLO.

    13. Jealousy is a wasted past time.

    It will only make you bitter and is a wasted energy. Instead, focus on you and let other people’s accomplishments inspire you. Stop comparing yourself to others. There is always going to be someone out there who’s better than you at something, or prettier than you and that’s okay. Miley Cyrus may be a year younger than you and has accomplished more than you could ever dream of…DEAL WITH IT!

    14. You’re not Superwoman.

    As much as you’d like to pretend you’re unbreakable, you can’t take care or worry about everyone else AND yourself. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. You’re only human at the end of the day.

    15. Be more comfortable in your own skin.

    Beauty is only skin deep. Looks fade, but intelligence lasts a lifetime. Keep reminding yourself that you don’t need to wear makeup everyday. Let your skin breathe girl! Also, never over-pluck your eyebrows again, unless you want to look like they were drawn on with a pencil…

    16. Don’t sweat the little things.

    Not everything in elementary school or high school was a big deal. Let’s be honest, grades really didn’t matter as much as you thought they did. In fact that was probably the easiest time of your life. Life gets much harder as you get older, so if you keep dwelling on the small things you will drive yourself completely mad! Just take one big deep breath and things will get brighter!

    17. You can’t please everyone.

    Don’t let other people’s judgements about you get you down. If they’re judging you about something, it’s probably stemming from one of their own insecurities. You just have to do what’s best for you.

    18. Stuff is stuff.

    Materialistic items only fill a temporary void. Having said that…if you MUST buy a cheeky item of clothing make sure it’s a staple item that will last.

    19. Life’s unfair.

    Deal with it. Don’t jump on the pity wagon, it will only hurt YOU in the long run. Instead, focus on all the positive things going on in your life or get excited for what the future may hold.

    20. Live your life for you.

    Don’t live your life for someone else or through someone else’s terms. Life is too short to set aside your passions or dreams. You have to be happy with the life you’re living or you’ll be filled with regrets.

    21. Early bed times.

    You start noticing that you can no longer stay up until 4AM chatting with your friends on MSN (remember the MSN days?!). You will start going to bed earlier, and earlier, and earlier…embrace it. Own it!

    22. Death.

    It’s a natural part of life that can’t be ignored. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to deal with, but you will make it through. The pain will slowly fade and it will be replaced by beautiful memories you once shared.

    23. Compromising.

    Conflicts will arise, but in order to move past it you’ll have to learn to compromise. You can’t always be right, especially in relationships. It’s always a two-way street.

    24. Take lots of photos.

    Your mind won’t always stick around to remember the good times. Make sure to capture the big moments in your life.

    25. Caffeine.

    It’s your best friend. But no matter how many cups of caffeine you may drink you will never be able to talk as fast and as wittily as Lorelai Gilmore.

    Here’s to many more years of learning and growing!
    Stacie

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